A Couple Random Thoughts on a Friday-- 4

It's Friday and I'm Bored

1. So for Super Bowl Sunday, my one roommate who cares about sports is away, and I'm heavily craving Pizza/Wings/Chips/Dip Ice cold beer and all the finer things to enjoy on such a holiday. I had a few boxes in a few different pools, and I decided to lay some loot on the Cardinals moneyline. For you non degenerates out there, that means simply to just win the game, there is no spread. So I'm amped to watch the game see a few commercials laugh it up a bit and enjoy myself before another 5-day work week kicks me in my Munk (man-junk) repeatedly. So I walk into the living room to find two hungover souls watching step brothers, we're 15 minutes from pre-game festivities, and no one had even mentioned ordering pizza and wings yet. I didn't even have a cold beer in my hand. I needed to call an audible, and I needed to do it fast. Luckily I'm as social as Stevie Wonder is blind, my first phone call turned into an instant invite to a party at a buddies place. I asked what I had to bring, he said nothing, when a friend says nothing it means show up with a sixer or two and call yourself welcomed. Hopped in a cab down there went to a D'agostinos to pick up some brewski. (Small sidebar if any of you have brothers, call them broski a few times, its addicting and fun to say, and it makes you thirsty for a beverage of the adult variety, in turn making you an alcoholic) I walked by a bar on the way in and saw them flipping the coin, I was a half block away and had to hurry. I hate missing kickoff-- its like watching Lost and starting from the 3rd season or reading a book and starting on page 200, it's criminal. Went right to the cold beer section grabbed a sixer of Yuengling black and Tan, and a sixer of the Saranac Brewery Variety (Light beer drinkers, this variety pack is not for you!) Everything was going as planned until I got to the register where I ran into plumpy mcghee. This stout woman who was the Latin equivalent of Yokozuno took 3 minutes looking at my ID, couldn't find my birth date and called the manager for assistance. I'm ticked and then I hear the guy behind me mutter under his breath "Damn, I'm gonna miss kickoff!" Well me too brother, if Bertha wasn't taking so long with my ID I'd be in front of the couch already.

I finally show up to the apartment, 3 minutes of the game had gone by, I was ticked but my friends gave me the full recap. The spread was delicious, bean dip, scoops, queso, salsa, pizza on the way, mozzarella balls wrapped in prosciutto, Brownies, and in the back corner, a dozen Dunkin Donuts. I couldn't believe it. I only knew three people there, but as I have no shame this was my icebreaker. "Who brought the donuts?" Depressingly, the guy owns up to it, and everyone laughs at him. This guy obviously didn't have his game face on when he made his purchase. Either that or he sits when he pees! As the game went on it was evident to my friends that was either a Cardinals fan, or that I had some baggage riding on the game. So I explained the bet and all the females asked their boyfriends quietly, "What does he mean by Moneyline?" The guys who knew answered immediately, and the metro sexual boyfriends who watch Oxygen and Bravo with their GF's instead of testosterone filled channels like ESPN had the same puzzled look as they did when the audience chose Reuben Stoddard instead of "Clay the only thing Aiken is my arse."

Regardless the game got real close near the end, and with Arizona driving down 20-16 I said that if Arizona won the game I would everyone of the donuts left in the box, which happened to be all of them. Arizona scores 30-seconds later, and much like Adam when he took a bite of the poisonous apple, which doomed him. I took a bite of the "POISONOUS CHOCOLATE FROSTED" when there was still 2:47 on the clock for Pitt to come back and score, win the Superbowl, take my money, and leave everyone in the apartment dying in laughter. Lesson learned, I took a bite before my destiny was filled, and I paid not only the piper, but The House as well. My broski, who had the opposite bet,shot me a text that night "You are a team's worst nightmare!" That sums it up... Damn you guy who brought the donuts in the first place.

One small side note- Bruce Springsteen's halftime show was great, he is 59 years old and can still really wail. Imagine someone you know that age sliding crotch first into a camera jamming out in tight black jeans and a guitar from 1983... not a pretty sight is it!!

For another great live performance check out this cut of Worlds Apart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=invIZMdJE40 This is a man passionate in his craft... and he has a great guitar solo at the 4:35 mark or so!!


2. Do English girls and other surrounding cold/ sunless countries wear makeup? Are they naturally uglier? I know you have a good one here and there, but something just seems off about them. Hygiene maybe, I'm not really sure. I mean girls in Seattle don't seem too have the same problem. Maybe it's in the air... or maybe Proctor & Gamble is still ticked about how we were treated in the 1700s and won't ship them any toothpaste.... Jury's out on this one folks...

Until next time all ye faithful--

Herbie