The Stripper from NYC

Friday night June 27, 2008 was not the typical night for me and a few friends. Myself and two guys were out to have a typical guys night out... Pregaming at the crib, watching the Yankees lose, drinking some bud light 40's, making fun of people we know, and deciding where we wanted to head out to. After a few forties were in the tank, we decided to head to an upper east side bar where young, slutty girls, often still in college with fake id's go to score a slightly older man with a job and the ability to pay for her drinks. Girls who start to mature at 24 and by 25 are somehow ready to settle down forgetting that the ages of 18-23 existed, especially if the doctor gave them a thumbs up once annually. The music at this place is conducive to hooking up, 90's and 80's tunes that everyone who is in or has been to college knows every lyric of, and hip-hop that makes these 18-23 year old's bootys shake and grind on each other and us men. Only two of us were allowed to flirt with the vixens on the floor as the others held true to their girlfriends and got drunk looking.

By 4 a.m. we were sauced, mildly successful and ready to head home. We left the bar and hailed a cab. The cabbie proceeded to drive right past our destination two blocks until we finally got dropped off. That was the single best mistake a cab driver has ever made. He deserves more of a tip we gave him to say the least. Walking back up those few blocks we spotted this blond haired woman aged about 23, wearing a short skirt and walking a little dog. Being as drunk as I was, I decided to ask her what kind of dog she had, when hearing it was a Yorkie I noticed a distinct upstate New York accent and told her we had gone to Syracuse. She was from buffalo and right then knowing her for 30 seconds asked us if we cared for a beer. She was too hot to say no, so we headed up to her 4th floor apartment, walked inside the door. She lived alone in this real nice 1 bedroom joint with many instruments spread across her living room. She handed us a few fresh beers and the conversation started...

I asked , "What were doing at 4:30a.m, just walking your dog, or getting out of work?"
"Just got out of work" She said.
"Ahh, where do you bartend?"
"I'm not a bartender!"

Right then and there I smiled, couldn't contain it really, there is only one other profession that I could think of at the time that would keep a girl like this out so late. She must have been a...

"I'm actually a stripper!" She said as she bent down, me and another friend noticed she was not wearing anything underneath her skirt and immediately believed her. She then asked if we cared to do some drugs, she opened a full box of drugs she said she got from her bouncers. You name it, it was in there, pills, pot, snow. Everything was in there. We passed on them and started joking and talking about our night out and how there were some good strippers in the making at the bar we were at. She explained how she was stripping to make enough money to record her own CD, as she was really an aspiring artist trying to make it big in NYC. (We've all heard that at one time or another) By 5:30 a.m I was awake talking to her, one friend was dead asleep, and the other was playing her instruments (musical). She told us where she was stripping at and told us to come by at one time or another as soon as she got done her tour. Her and her co-workers were going on a month long tour to promote the strip club. She gave me her number and said to keep in touch as we were "now neighbors" and when she was done her tour that we'd get together.

We woke up the next day, laughed it off and checked the strip club's website, sure enough the tour was listed and she was the cover girl. She picked up my first phone call and made plans she later cancelled, second call went unanswered. I guess I'll never see this dame again unless I pay for the experience.